How to Overcome Self-sabotage…


Aug 09

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Hi, I am Carlos Marin, author of “The Ultimate Success Formula” and founder of “The Unlimited Success Academy,” and welcome to another episode of “Your Unlimited Life”, the show dedicated to teaching you how to be, do and have anything that you want in life and boy do we have a great show for you today.

Today we’ve got a very, very interesting show called “Are There Really Two of Me?” and you’re going to see pretty soon the reason why that’s the name of this show. But let’s start by asking you this question. Do you ever wonder why it seems so hard to get yourself to do the things that you need to do, that you know that you need and you should be doing in order to succeed, but you just can’t get yourself to do it? Like changing a bad habit, something you know you should stop, like stop smoking or stop overeating or eating cookies, or eating sugar, or gluten, or whatever it is. Now a days it seems everything’s bad for you, right? And you just can’t seem to get yourself to do it. You can’t stop from doing the things that you know you should stop doing, and you can’t get yourself to do the things that you know that you should do.

It’s almost like there’s another one of you that wants to do the things their way, instead of doing what I want to do. I’m the boss, I’m in charge, how come this other dude is not paying attention to me, and doing whatever the hell he wants. So, has that ever happened to you? Well let me tell you something, nothing is strange, this conflict that we all seem to have within us is the power of the subconscious mind at work. In reality, it’s the power of the subconscious mind at work when the subconscious and the conscious mind are not in agreement.

You know, I suffered from this for a long time. I’m not saying that I don’t still have it, but I suffered from this, big time for a long, long time. Early in my career I learned some of the things I’m going to share with you here today.  When I started out in the business world, I always showed great promise. I showed great potential. I mean, I was a fast starter, I started fast, I got good results right away in the beginning, but then something would seem to happen. Things would just kind of flatten out. I’d seem to just self-destruct, self-sabotage. I know this is the word today, but back then I felt like I was just self destructing.

I kind of stayed in this mediocre, average place. They say that the average is the worst of the best and the best of the worst. Some kind of crazy thing like that. That’s how I felt. I was a little bit above average making $30,000 – $35,000 thousand dollars a year when the average was making $25,000 – $28,000 thousand dollars a year.  Back then I got involved in the life insurance business, I didn’t go to college so I didn’t study a profession like my mother wanted me to do. Then she convinced me to go into the life insurance business. She introduced me to some very successful people in the life insurance business. So, guess what? I got into the life insurance business. I didn’t really like it but I was a good student, so I learned what I needed to learn and I got all kinds of information about the policies. I knew more than anybody within a very short time about all the different types of policies, their guarantees and benefits and so forth.

In fact, the guy who was my mentor in that business, he’d didn’t know anything about the policies. He sold millions and millions of dollars, but he was just a really nice guy, everybody’s friend, he just cared about people. He had one of those charismatic personalities that showed that he cared and he just made tons of money, sold lots of insurance, but I didn’t have that personality. I knew a lot about the policies, but I couldn’t sell to save my life. One day I went out with one of the managers, one of the other managers who liked me. He told  me; “You know, you’re a sharp kid, you could really learn, you could be a CLU and a LUTC…” and this and that, and  said all these things behind my name.  So I went out with him, and I saw some prospect my mother had referred and we spent a good time there, this manager was pretty good and we sold him this million dollar policy. This manager goes back to the agency, starts bragging about me, “Look at this, young superstar, a million dollar policy…”. You know, I was a star of the agency. In my mind – I’m going “God”… And, you didn’t have to put a check to do it,  he said “Oh, don’t worry about the check thing, you know, he’s agreed to do the medical and he’s doing the medical”, and so on and so forth. So, it’s good, it’s good. And I’m like scared to death. I told that I wished he hadn’t told everybody I sold the million dollar policy, because, what if something happens?”. See, that’s how I’m thinking – what if something happens? I wish he hadn’t told them, because if something happens, then you know, I will be poop, right?

So, I was the star of the agency for a couple of weeks, but after the guy took his medical, I guess he had some kind of condition, he was a little bit overweight and the policy came back rated with a little bit of a higher premium, so the guy didn’t accept the policy, the policy fell through. Now, what I thought, what I expected to happen, happened. Now I’m blaming my manager, I’m saying it was his fault.  He should have gotten the check. I asked him when we left “Why didn’t you get the check?”, He said; “Oh it doesn’t matter for these policies, you’ve got to refund them the money if something happens anyway…”. So Mister Victim Mentality, (me) self sabotaged that situation. Like all the situations that I was doing back then. It seemed like the story of my life was taking two steps forward- three steps back or three steps forward-two steps back, that’s how it always worked out till it was almost even. This is  called self-sabotage. I was living in self-sabotage. I couldn’t get the two of me to agree.

I didn’t understand it. Thank God that I got involved in the network marketing industry and found some mentors who knew these principles. They were not just charismatic people with great personalities that were great salesman. These were wise people that understood the universal laws, universal principles, and they started sharing that with me. Then when I started learning these things, it just blew my mind and that was the beginning of the transformation for me.

So I want to give you that gift and make sure that you have that same opportunity.  Now let’s understand the various phases of mind and how they work – How they kind of interplay with each other to create the results that we have in our lives. Let me keep it simple today. I’m only going to talk about the two phases of mind, the conscious and the subconscious mind. Even though there’s other things, I will get into those later on down the road. Right now I want you to understand the basics.

The conscious mind is the thinker. It is the reasoner, the thinker, it is personal and it is selective. It reasons inductively which means it compares data, facts, statistics, information, anything that it can in order to arrive at its conclusions.  The main conclusion that it wants to arrive at continually is what is true. What is true, what is false, what is right, what is wrong. It is the judge. The conscious mind is judgmental so it’s wanting to arrive at conclusions as to what is true, what is right, that sort of thing.

Now, the subconscious mind on the other hand is creative. It is totally impersonal, it is non selective, and it reasons deductively which means, it never takes into account the truthfulness, or the falseness of any information. It just always functions on the premise that the information that it received from the conscious mind or trusted authority is correct, it is right, it is the truth. Once it takes something and says, this is correct, this is the truth, it proceeds to produce results that are congruent with that information, with that suggestion again, whether it’s true, or whether it’s false. It’s important to note, to understand because you’re going to see in a little bit why that conflict happens when really the subconscious mind is subjective to the conscious mind. It is supposed to follow the orders of the conscious mind, but what we don’t understand is that a few of these facts  that I’m going to share with you here today which will help you set yourself free.

The conscious mind generates thoughts, ideas, concepts from stored information that it has in the subconscious mind or it could pick it up from the environment, from TV, internet, media, people that are talking around you, people you associate with. As it generates it’s thoughts and ideas and goes through this process of reasoning inductively and deciding what’s right or wrong, what’s true or false and so forth. It records those impressions upon the subconscious mind.

The subconscious mind takes those impressions, kind of like a recording device, like a hard drive or some type of MP3 player. It takes new information with no judgment and then just proceeds to give it form and expression in the physical world. This, my friends, is Universal Law. This is, remember what we talked a couple of weeks ago – Absolute Law?

Well this is Absolute Law, this is Universal Law. It is Infinite Intelligence and the laws that govern the universe. The subconscious mind does not originate ideas, it only accepts them as truth. Remember, they are ideas and concepts that you have been conditioned to feel and to believe to be true. Then its job is to materialize them and that’s what it does. Now, once it takes an idea or a concept as true repeated over time, it becomes a belief, remember we’ve talked about beliefs. That’s what a belief is. The subconscious mind has taken a concept or an idea, which could be true or it could be false, but it’s taking it as true. At that point it continues to automatically act on that belief with no further direction from the conscious mind whatsoever, it continues to act on that forever and ever and ever until and unless it is reprogrammed with a stronger belief by the conscious mind.

In other words, the conscious mind has to take something in and believe it so strongly and then communicate to the subconscious in the right way to reprogram the subconscious mind. Now guess what? The subconscious mind is influenced best through repetition with strong feeling whether that feeling be negative, or positive.

Understand one thing, before your conscious mind was, your subconscious mind was. In other words, when we were children, we grew up subjectively, subconsciously for a great part of our first six years of our lives. So, it is the subconscious mind that builds and creates the conscious mind, not the other way around. Let’s take this a little further. When you don’t control your intention or your feelings and you allow other people to influence how you think, how you feel, you impress the subconscious mind with negative ideas and emotional states. That’s why people are walking around all the time confused and they say that the Law of Attraction doesn’t work. I didn’t choose to be broke, I didn’t choose for bad things to happen to me, I didn’t choose for that SOB to screw me, I didn’t choose for bla, bla, bla”. They don’t understand the law, so they’re confused. They don’t get the fact that by your fear, by your doubt, by your worry and by listening to negative people, they are impressing their subconscious with what they don’t want and the subconscious mind faithfully produces it, time and time and time again, over and over and over again.

Ladies and gentlemen, understand the mind is like an iceberg. There is a smaller part of it that’s outside the surface on top of the surface of the water and the bigger part of it is underneath the surface of the water. Now, psychologists say that the conscious mind is 10 percent of the overall and this is today’s modern psychology. Psychologist say that the subconscious mind is 90% of the mind. Bruce Lipton, PhD wrote a book called “Biology of belief” and in that book he states that human beings have over 70 thousand thoughts a day and over 90 percent of those thoughts are the same day in and day out.

I mean, think about that. I never had any idea I could even think that many thoughts in a day. Never mind 90%  of them being the same. You know what you don’t realize is that those 90% that are the same, those are your beliefs, those are your automatic thoughts, your automatic habit and thinking patterns that are repetitive day in and day out, holding your reality in place.

Watch this, remember I said that psychologists say that the conscious mind is 10% and the subconscious 90%? The conscious mind can process 40 bits of information per second. The subconscious however can process 20 million bits of information per second. Do the math, that’s  90 to 10 ladies and gentlemen, the conscious mind may be the chooser, may be the decider, but the one that carries it out of everything that happens is the subconscious mind.

Why? Well, the subconscious runs all bodily functions and processes. It’s what keeps us alive. Right now, your heart is beating, your blood is circulating throughout your body, your lungs are breathing, your kidneys are filtering liquids, your liver is detoxifying your body and all that. Which one of us is sitting here and going, “hey heart, beat, hey, dude keep beating, come on lungs, come on buddy, breath, breath, breath, blood come one, run, circulate, circulate!” We’re not doing that. We don’t even know it’s going on, we’re not even conscious of the fact that it’s going on. The subconscious is the builder of the body. It’s running all the bodily functions, it’s keeping us alive. It’s repairing the cells, it’s regenerating the cells. And then on top of that, it’s also our mental storehouse. It takes repetitive thoughts, especially those with strong feelings and emotions and automates them so we don’t have to think about them all the time. In other words, it’s freeing up mental resources all the time for the conscious mind to focus on new ideas, and use its power of inductive reasoning to make your choices better choices, to expand and to grow our lives. That’s the function and the power of the subconscious mind.

So, the subconscious is the powerhouse. It’s there to protect us, it’s there to serve us, it is there to produce results. Now, when there’s a mental conflict, when the conscious and the subconscious are not in alignment, when they’re not in agreement, guess what? The subconscious mind wins all the time. Why? Because it is number one priority in self-preservation. And it will preserve us and save us and help us against ourselves. So when you’re trying to achieve something that you can’t get yourself to do, when you start to succeed and then you self-sabotage, what happened? Consciously you wanted to succeed, but the subconscious had the conflict of belief. Not allowing it, that’s called psychological reversal and that happens in the process of learning, of living, of growing up. We were affected with limiting beliefs from the authority figures around us and those limiting beliefs are what’s causing us to self-sabotage. We’ve never taken the time to go back and question, what’s in our subconscious mind? That’s the reality of it. We could figure it out, we could change it if we became conscious. This is what’s causing us to self-sabotage our desires, our goals and our dreams. It’s that psychological reversal.

It’s like when you say: “I want to be rich. I want to be rich, I am going to be a millionaire, I want to be rich”. The Subconscious says, “You’re full of it. Ha ha, we’re broke, we’re broke. And besides, you forget, money is the root of all evil, look at all those things that happen to the rich people, they’re miserable, their kids are on drugs, you know if you’re rich, your friends will not even like you for you, they’ll like you for your money, you know, all rich people are going to hell…” and on, and on, and on.

See, you haven’t dealt with that very crap that’s inside of you. So you consciously say you want this, but your subconscious is trying to protect you from even yourself. It’s all that stuff that pops up.  I’ve done so many seminars about this topic and the things that always pop up, ladies and gentleman, what always pops up is, unworthiness, feeling that you’re not good enough. Undeserving and I don’t mean just the money or success, I mean having the great body, having a gorgeous spouse, having  loving relationships, carrying the burden of the world on your back all the time.

The key to all of this is to become conscious. Become aware of what you’re thinking. What are those seventy thousand thoughts you’re having all day long? Because those are the basis of our beliefs. Our beliefs are what’s creating the life that we have, whether it’s the life we wanted, or the life we don’t want. It’s our beliefs that are doing that. You want to change where you’re going? You’re going someplace automatically right now. Those beliefs, that mindset that’s in your subconscious mind is taking you someplace and it’s taking you someplace automatically.

If you want to change where that is, you’ve got to become conscious. You’ve got to become aware of what you’re thinking. You have to become deliberate in your thoughts. You’ve got to focus your thinking on what you want, not on what you don’t want. You’ve got to direct your thoughts. You’ve got to think consciously.

Here’s a beautiful play of words. You’ve got to become conscious of being conscious. Become aware of being aware. That is the key to changing this whole shooting match. So, here’s what you got to do, because I don’t throw problems out on people without giving them solutions.

This is a great solution that I’m going to give you here today. A great solution and a great practice that you can begin doing right now to transform your life, starting today. Here’s what I want you to do. Practice catching yourself thinking. That’s right, practice, you know, you’re going throughout your day, catch yourself thinking, grab yourself, catch yourself thinking. As you go through your day, stop and ask yourself, what am I thinking right now? Become aware of it, become aware of those thoughts that are going on and on and on. Become aware of the beliefs that are underneath those thoughts. As a matter of fact, stop now. Stop right now! What were you just thinking? Right now, what were you just thinking? You may be saying, “Well Carlos, I wasn’t thinking about anything, I was just watching the video, listening to you…”. B.S.! You were either arguing with me or you were agreeing with me. You were saying “this guy is so full of crap”, or “this is such B.S.”, or “oh my God, this is so cool, oh I never thought about this, I could change my life with this stuff”. You’re thinking all the time. So be honest with yourself, and get a handle on it. What were you thinking right now? Cause, you know something? The subconscious will quite down when you observe it.

This is the whole, this is what is behind meditation. Meditation is really becoming aware of your awareness. It’s becoming conscience of your consciousness. When you do that, the subconscious quiets down and it realizes that you are in charge and that you love it as much as it loves you.  You are trying to get the great life for all of you, you’re trying to become an integrated person. And so the subconscious will quiet down when you observe it. Do it. Prove it. Prove it to yourself! I dare you. Become aware of what you’re thinking, because that’s what producing your reality today.

So here’s the exercise I want you to do. For the next 24 hours and for those of you who are braver, do it for 48 hours, or 72 hours, this is not painful – it’s liberating! For the next 24 hours at least, during the time you’re awake, obviously, don’t wake up to do this, but for the next 24 hours, stop every hour. Stop every hour and write down what you were thinking for the past hour. It won’t take you that long, two-three minutes is all that it’ll take you to do it. Put the timer on your phone. Most of you got smart-phones, put a timer on your iPhones or your Androids, whatever you got. Even the dumb-phones have timers. Put a timer on the phone, and set it to go off every hour. And when it goes off, just stop, carry a little pad with you, just stop, write down key words and bullets of what you were thinking and then go back at the end of the day and look at all this stuff. Highlight the positive in yellow and the negative in red, if you did it in black you wouldn’t be able to see it. Highlight the positive in yellow just so you can see how much positive and how much negative you’ve been thinking. This is going to show you what you believe and what you’re producing. Do this for the next 24 or 48 hours. Every hour stop, write down what you were thinking. Then what I’d like for you to do, and I’ll teach you about this in some of our strategies for developing that mindset of a winner, of a millionaire that we need to develop, but I want to give you some answers here today so that you take something with you. Take this exercise and  become conscious. Consciousness in and out itself is a great reward and it’s a great, it’s like the first step to change, but here’s a few tips.

Once you catch yourself thinking, consciously refocus on your goals and dreams. When you catch yourself thinking negative, consciously refocus on your goals and dreams. If you’re so used to thinking negative, you can’t focus on your goals and dreams. Focus on what you’re grateful for, count your blessings. Think about what you’re grateful for, or what you’re excited about in your life right now, and why that makes you excited. Or what you’re committed to or what you love. Think about what you love, that spouse, that puppy dog, going to the beach, hiking, whatever it is you love to do. Whatever makes you happy, think about what makes you happy.

The key is, you want to create a mental atmosphere. You want to live in a mental atmosphere of happiness, gratitude, success, prosperity and abundance. The key, ladies and gentlemen, the synchronizing of conscious and unconscious mind is to become conscious of what you’re thinking and direct your thinking to produce what you want in life instead of what you don’t want. When you do this, you will automate the process of creating your unlimited life, it will become easy, it will become fun, it will become great, and you will start creating your unlimited life at a speed that you can’t believe.

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So, until next week, God bless you and your family and live your Unlimited Life.


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